As kids get older and peers become more important in their lives, these relationships make a lot of the weather in their world. An upcoming class can be dreaded for days, or it can be anticipated joyfully, and sometimes this has nothing to do with the teacher or the subject! A little attention to our relatiships can make that big a difference!
Perhaps you’ve heard the joke that gossip is confessing other people’s sins. Earlier this year, my wife Clare and I experienced a bit of gossip and drama in our Wednesday tutorials. What was challenging is that we sometimes heard about it thirdhand only after the kids went home for the week! This made us think deeply about the wisdom of Jesus’ words in Matthew 18.
“If your brother sins against you, go to him and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother” (Matthew 18:15). How much simpler could our relationships be if we could all start there! But if we as adults struggle with this, our kids are going to need help too! We realized that we needed to create a time at the end of class specifically for this kind of conversation, and we’d need to be available in case they needed our help resolving their issues (Matthew 18:16).
But what would the other kids do during this time? How could we make it purposeful for everyone? Well, we’ve also noticed how students in conflict often isolate themselves. Others only speak to their friends. We decided that every student could benefit from talking briefly with every other student, every day. What would they talk about? We instructed each one to share one specific compliment about the other student and to ask him or her one open-ended question, so they could start learning more about each other. How would we set this up? Well, each of our students reads their writing to the others every day, and good writing often begins with careful observation! We handed out forms with every student’s name on them, and the students noted their observations while they were listening to one another read. We also communicated our strategy to our parents. If someone brought home a complaint about someone else, we asked our parents to ask their child first how they had addressed the issue during relationship time.
Did it work? Well, I’ve noticed our students including each other more, and this sure makes teaching joyful for me! One of our students said it was “definitely awkward at first” but “sparked conversation” and “helped me to look for different things that I liked in other people’s writing.” However, she also indicated that this exercise has now served its purpose in our class, and I think she’s right. We’ll be looking for the next thing that helps them grow!
—A classroom veteran, George Rietz encourages teachers,
teaches homeschoolers, and invents new tools to reshape education.
Contact him through ExploreMyWriting.com.
